Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
did i walk over a car last night?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Will exercising make me less horny?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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