My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
