I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
