Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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