I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
