I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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