I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
