check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
