I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
