How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Randomize