shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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