you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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