Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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