You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
where are my pants?
in the oven.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
