I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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