i don't plan on having that self control this summer
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If I die, sorry about rent.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
