How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Michael Bay diarrhea
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Bring me that man meat
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize