but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
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