420 ftw
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
This girl is more easily done than said...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
