i will never coherently bang her
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
