Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
