If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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