I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
