in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
