glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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