Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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