thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
