We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
