By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
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