normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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