I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
