how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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