Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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