there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
