its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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