So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Well I just put wine in my tea
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
