you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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