I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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