I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
im six kinds of drunk right now
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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