I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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