Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Send help, water and tortillas.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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