he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
