please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
