her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
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