he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
