So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
