big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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