Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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