I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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