Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
