Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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