these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize