I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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