it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
