Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
