i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
