sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I did not marry a roomba.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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