That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize