You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
